Feedback from Cynthia de Souza

Since making a short film called "The Man Who Stopped" in 2010, I have struck up a decent relationship with Wandsworth Council and in particular with Maria Horn, which resulted in the film being show at the Exhibit in Balham in front of films such as "The Kings Speech" and "Black Swan". As part of that I get the odd email about master-classes and events they are running, and was particularly intrigued by one which was taking place with script editor, writer and producer Cynthia De Souza, and thought it would be great to get an outsiders view on what we were doing.

So today, I set off on a lovely sunny London day to the PumpHouse Gallery in Battersea Park to meet Cynthia. Getting there my standard half an hour early, I was pleased to see the one on one sessions were taking place outside, and chatted to Maria about my various recent adventures abroad whilst I waited for Cynthia to finish with another film-maker.

Cynthia immediately comes across as articulate, polite, enthusiastic and knowledgeable about films and film making. She also wants to know about you as a film-maker, where you are coming from and going to, before discussing the script so she can pitch it correctly. It also helped that she had seen a previous short I had done "Parental Control" and genuinely seemed to enjoy it to the extent she was very surprised it didn't get into more festivals and get more exposure.

So, what did she have to say about "Clowning Around"...

Unfortunately, she pretty much hated it (maybe hate is too strong a word....reeaaaallly disliked it). Her first bit of feedback was that clowns are commonly used in short film and very much a cliché, so I couldn't really see a way back there and then. I think she found it not particularly original and the action overly written. Her broad notes were so integral to the script, we didn't really get into specific scenes.

Her other notes were that it should be a silent film and be a lot shorter (max 7 minutes) and lose the scenes that were clichéd. We also basically got round to the fact that I should leave the writing to writers and concentrate on the directing. Her final comments were "It's not rubbish, it's OK. But you're a lot better than this" which I think was a compliment...

She then gave me some great advice on a few things, including where to find good writers and where I should go from here. She also passed on a few smart exercises to see how words are translated onto the screen such as watching a scene from a film, writing it as you think the scene could've been written, then tracking down the original and seeing how it was written.

I think she was a little disappointed to hear I still intend to make "Clowning Around" but we swapped contact details at the end and I sincerely hope to bump into her again as she is a very sincere lady with a lot of knowledge and experience.

Yep, you heard correct. I am still making "Clowning Around". I won't pretend its not a kick in the guts when someone doesn't like your script, I take on Cynthia's comments and in no way am I being dismissive, but film is all about peoples differing opinions. I like plenty of films other people don't and vice versa and I still believe its a great little short film that will be enjoyable as well as making a point and will also further me as a film-maker. I will go through the script again to see how I can flesh out certain bits, but I am not going to please everyone and I can't be discouraged just because one person (or several people for that matter) don't like the project, there are plenty of people involved who do really like it and I plan, once I get out of my miserable mood, to truck on with it.

Its always interesting to hear honest opinion, and that's what I asked Cynthia for. If I wanted someone to just say "hey its great" then I ask some of my family. But like I say, its up to me to decide if the film is still worth making and to me it is.