Nobody I know likes clowns. sad is a word people use to describe them. Frightening is a word that comes up. Unfunny.
There is a symbolism about the clown that strike's deep. they are the poor cousins of butterflies and rainbows and balloons - colourful images that represent something deeper than what they are.
When I say I am playing a sad clown people nod. In my career I have played a lot of losers. I have a whole showreel entitled wimps and assholes. Now I am old, overweight and drink too much so I guess I am coming into my own though work is hard to come by and I am grateful for what I can get. Money is tight since the commercials dried up - I was famous in Italy just before the Falklands War for an advert where I played "dirt" and had to sprawl myself on a Fiat - to be chased off by a tall good looking man playing "the polish". ten grand for a days work. mama mia!
The photo shoot was good - dressing up in the gear - the surge of energy when I look in the mirror and see the mask and wig on me.
- the clown is one of the few characters I have played which comes from the outside in...
As I move from the make-up chair the physical grace and elegance I had in my youth trickles into my blood. I head for the camera and suddenly I hit the accelerator and the engine bursts into life - the power of colour and energy kicks in - I am back. I am dizzy with the antics. I have an audience. I am Grimadli. I am Charlie Cairoli. Coco. Buffo. I am cartooning like the old days. People are smiling and somebody laughs - I devour it.
Nourished, an hour later on the bus going home, my face reflected into the window still pallid from the white and my eyes still darkened by the black and fatigue. A young woman, early twenties sits next to me and pays no attention. If she only knew...
Bill Thomas
www.billthomas.co.uk
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